Tuesday Tune: She Still Loves Me

She still loves me by SOJA.
LOVE.

The Ghost Of What Once Was

You are in

all

the songs

I used

to love.

But, now

all they do

is

make me

bleed.

Tuesday Tune: Infinity Guitars

Love this song! Makes me think of my best girlfriends.
Infinity Guitars by Sleigh Bells.
JAM.

Mantra Monday: Be Still

Be still and know that I am God
Be still and know that I am
Be still and know that I
Be still and know that
Be still and know
Be still and
Be still
Be

-Psalm 46:10

Regardless of whether you are religious or not, this is a great mantra for the week. Live in the moment. Savor it up. Just simply BE.

(Mantra Monday will be a new weekly addition my blog! Yay for expansion.)

The Stigma Of Slut Shaming

We live in a society that somehow continues to justify “slut shaming” in our culture. And it needs to STOP.

First and foremost, what is a “slut?”

According to the dictionary a slut is defined as an immoral or dissolute woman; a prostitute.

Since when is a woman engaging in legal sexual acts with whomever she pleases grounds to be called a prostitute?

So many people in our culture are still guided by the antiquated notion that women should remain pure and innocent and if they are not then they should be quiet about their indiscretions. Conversely, men are actually encouraged in our culture to be promiscuous and are often placed in high esteem when they have a large number of conquests. This double standard enrages me, but thats a rant I will have to save for later.

Not only is slut shaming just plain wrong, it has also been used as a way of justifying rape, which is absolutely bizarre and disgusting to me. I don’t care if a woman appears to be the “sluttiest of sluts” in your mind, that will NEVER justify you invading HER body. Get real.

As you can see, slut shaming is a stigma that can have dire consequences, which is why it needs to be combated head on.

Every human being on this planet, regardless of sex or gender, has the right to live their life how they see fit. Some are more open minded than others, some are guided by conservative or religious principles, some are much more free spirited and experimental. All of these ways of living are equally respectable and should be treated as such in our society.

Just because you may not agree with a person who is more promiscuous than you believe is right, does not  give you the right to slut shame. Just like disagreeing with someone abstaining from sexual activities, does not give you the right to “prude shame.”

A woman should not have to feel ashamed of who she is, her desires, or how she sees fit to live her life because society says it is wrong. You would think fellow women would be the most understanding of this concept, but sadly it seems that a lot of slut shaming comes from people of the same sex, people who you would think would be the most accepting.

I have had friends called sluts by both males and females and to see how this one word can affect them is just heartbreaking. After all, it is just one meaningless word, right? WRONG. It’s a loaded word. Calling someone a slut is a degradation of who they are. It is important to remember that even though the words “slut” and “promiscuity” are often identified with each other, they do not equate each other. Try to remember that.

A person who is promiscuous is not a slut. They are just simply more promiscuous than you. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Our culture seems to think that by shaming people into believing they are sluts, this will somehow convince them to change. The things is, change doesn’t work that way. You can’t belittle someone in the hopes that in doing so, you will convince them to change. If anything, calling someone a slut simply because they live their life a different way than you see fit, says more about you than it does them.

As Ani Difranco says, “promiscuity is nothing more than traveling, there’s more than one way to see the world.”

I am not dignifying promiscuity, nor am I demeaning it. That is the point. Let others decide how they want to live their life in all forms and fashions and you decide how to live your own. Without malice. Without judgement. Without degradation.

I hope that one day we can all live in a world with a mutualistic respect for each other’s individuality and rather than feed our  ethnocentric tendencies, we will embrace each others differences and learn from them.

So, anybody out there who has been called a slut or a prude and was deeply hurt by it, shake it off. You know who you are better than anybody else and you shouldn’t be ashamed of acting or not acting, on your impulses and desires. You are human. And as long as you love yourself, no other person can make you feel inferior.

xo

TJ

Tuesday Tune: O Children

This song is so beautiful. It makes me happy and so in love with life!

 

 

 

Enjoy.

xo

TJ

Why Silver Linings Playbook Is The Best Movie Of The Year

Silver Linings Playbook has been hyped up a lot this year and with good reason. This movie is everything.

Not only is the acting flawless, but the characters, the story, and the dialogue are so raw and painstakingly truthful that it makes this movie and it’s characters so unbelievably real.

So much so that, I see myself in them.

Tiffany and Pat are the two main characters and they are brought together by their mental illness and instability. They both find each other in dark places, each struggling to fight their own demons on their search for happiness.

They are irreparably flawed and a little broken. But what human isn’t? After all, isn’t imperfection and making mistakes what being human is really about?

This isn’t a movie about two people who are irreparably broken. Or two people who are too fucked up to live a normal life. This movie is about seeing the darkness within you and not being so afraid of it. It is about accepting how insanely flawed you are and learning to love yourself anyway. It is about redemption and forgiveness and acceptance, but most of all it is about being human.

We are all a little bit crazy. We are all a little bit weird and scary. Life isn’t about trying to hide our lunacy or medicate it away, it’s about embracing it as a part of ourselves – a part that is beautiful.

As tiffany said: “There will always be a part of me that is dirty and sloppy, but I like that, just like all the other parts of myself. I can forgive. Can you say the same for yourself, fucker? Can you forgive? Are you capable of that?”

Well, are you?

As someone who, in the last two years has suffered from anxiety and depression, I have to say it has been a long road to acceptance. I think I am finally here though. I am no longer afraid of my demons. They are a part of who I am. And I like who I am.

So, no matter what life throws your way, no matter what hardship you may encounter, remember that it is okay to be who you truly are. Flaws and all. And all those people around you who somehow manage to accomplish the facade of perfection just a little bit better than you, they are fighting their own battle too. And maybe, just maybe, like Tiffany and Pat, you could fight that battle together.

Watch this movie if you haven’t already. If you have seen it, watch it again because you might just see something you didn’t before. You won’t be disappointed and even if you are, you just might learn something along the way.

After all,

As Pat likes to say, “there is always a silver lining.”

xo

TJ