The Stigma Of Slut Shaming

4 May

We live in a society that somehow continues to justify “slut shaming” in our culture. And it needs to STOP.

First and foremost, what is a “slut?”

According to the dictionary a slut is defined as an immoral or dissolute woman; a prostitute.

Since when is a woman engaging in legal sexual acts with whomever she pleases grounds to be called a prostitute?

So many people in our culture are still guided by the antiquated notion that women should remain pure and innocent and if they are not then they should be quiet about their indiscretions. Conversely, men are actually encouraged in our culture to be promiscuous and are often placed in high esteem when they have a large number of conquests. This double standard enrages me, but thats a rant I will have to save for later.

Not only is slut shaming just plain wrong, it has also been used as a way of justifying rape, which is absolutely bizarre and disgusting to me. I don’t care if a woman appears to be the “sluttiest of sluts” in your mind, that will NEVER justify you invading HER body. Get real.

As you can see, slut shaming is a stigma that can have dire consequences, which is why it needs to be combated head on.

Every human being on this planet, regardless of sex or gender, has the right to live their life how they see fit. Some are more open minded than others, some are guided by conservative or religious principles, some are much more free spirited and experimental. All of these ways of living are equally respectable and should be treated as such in our society.

Just because you may not agree with a person who is more promiscuous than you believe is right, does not  give you the right to slut shame. Just like disagreeing with someone abstaining from sexual activities, does not give you the right to “prude shame.”

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A woman should not have to feel ashamed of who she is, her desires, or how she sees fit to live her life because society says it is wrong. You would think fellow women would be the most understanding of this concept, but sadly it seems that a lot of slut shaming comes from people of the same sex, people who you would think would be the most accepting.

I have had friends called sluts by both males and females and to see how this one word can affect them is just heartbreaking. After all, it is just one meaningless word, right? WRONG. It’s a loaded word. Calling someone a slut is a degradation of who they are. It is important to remember that even though the words “slut” and “promiscuity” are often identified with each other, they do not equate each other. Try to remember that.

A person who is promiscuous is not a slut. They are just simply more promiscuous than you. And there is nothing wrong with that.

Our culture seems to think that by shaming people into believing they are sluts, this will somehow convince them to change. The things is, change doesn’t work that way. You can’t belittle someone in the hopes that in doing so, you will convince them to change. If anything, calling someone a slut simply because they live their life a different way than you see fit, says more about you than it does them.

As Ani Difranco says, “promiscuity is nothing more than traveling, there’s more than one way to see the world.”

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I am not dignifying promiscuity, nor am I demeaning it. That is the point. Let others decide how they want to live their life in all forms and fashions and you decide how to live your own. Without malice. Without judgement. Without degradation.

I hope that one day we can all live in a world with a mutualistic respect for each other’s individuality and rather than feed our  ethnocentric tendencies, we will embrace each others differences and learn from them.

So, anybody out there who has been called a slut or a prude and was deeply hurt by it, shake it off. You know who you are better than anybody else and you shouldn’t be ashamed of acting or not acting, on your impulses and desires. You are human. And as long as you love yourself, no other person can make you feel inferior.

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xo

TJ

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8 Responses to “The Stigma Of Slut Shaming”

  1. Fahdah Away May 5, 2013 at 7:05 am #

    Thank you for this; slut shaming, prude shaming, gay bashing, color picking, online bullying and all other forms of disrespect need to end. Great post!

    • Taylor Devost May 6, 2013 at 12:55 am #

      Absolutely. Discrimination and hate of all kinds need to end! Thanks for reading! xo

  2. taurusingemini May 5, 2013 at 9:39 am #

    This just SHOWS you how men are expecting US women to follow a code of MORALITY, when they can SCREW around all they want to, and, if we’re the ones being unfaithful, we MIGHT as well just put that scarlett letter UP on our foreheads, that, is so totally SEXIST and UNFAIR, but hey, that, is the way the world currently is, it still hadn’t changed since 5000 years ago when the ancient Chinese Emperors are able to take up a Queen, and a TON of concubines…

    • Taylor Devost May 6, 2013 at 12:56 am #

      The sad reality, yes. BUT change starts with YOU so if each individual woman tries to educate others on slut shaming then perhaps EVENTUALLY the world will no longer feel the need to engage in it. One can dream, right!? Thanks for reading! xo

  3. perfectlonelyworld May 6, 2013 at 5:56 pm #

    This is basically the principal that started SlutWalk in Toronto. There was a Toronto police officer that said if women didn’t want to be raped, they should stop dressing as sluts.

    Great post!

    • Taylor Devost May 6, 2013 at 6:10 pm #

      Oh wow! I had not heard of that, but that is amazing that something is being done to combat that ignorant officer’s comments and many others as well. Thanks for reading!! xo

      • perfectlonelyworld May 6, 2013 at 8:08 pm #

        SlutWalk has actually gone global now, since its start in 2011 in Toronto. Thanks for following!!

  4. Fort Lauderdale Computer Company May 16, 2013 at 1:49 pm #

    Nice replies in return of this question
    with genuine arguments and describing all concerning that.

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